I meant to start this blog introducing myself.
I meant to begin by telling the world how my situation may be unique but it’s far from being uncommon.
I meant to begin by making an unstated comment on society for allowing women like myself to become a norm.
But I stare at this empty page and find myself drawn to another line of thinking. Hear me out world, this wasn’t planned out as well as I’d like.
Blogs about motherhood are a dime a dozen. You can get on any social media site and find hundreds (probably thousands) of moms sharing all the mixed emotions of the maternal experience. The joys of first words mixed with the fears of having to chastise those little rats when the words aren’t quite as nice as you’d like them to be. The kissing and hugging and yelling and crying all mixed up in the guilt complexes that all mothers set up for themselves. We Moms are crazy creatures and most of us feel the need to share these experiences in order to assuage our concerns that we are the only ones who feel lost most of the time.
The first time I became a mother, I was completely unprepared. I was 18, fresh out of High School, and I had never really contemplated motherhood until I heard those words come out of the Dr’s mouth. My boyfriend and I decided to begin our family and a few years later I was raising two beautiful boys while he was working his butt off at a State prison. Believe it or not, it was a good marriage, for a while. But despite our best efforts, when you flash forward 12 years, I found myself divorced and desperately trying to balance my kids needs and co-parent with someone I barely understood anymore. Imagine my surprise when I found myself at my physician’s office and all the nurse’s were crowding around the ultrasound monitor exclaiming over the two little boys on the screen. They were jumping around and excited and I was trying not to either cry or scream. I knew I would be raising these two by myself.
Since then, I have read many many blogs. Some of them have been about multiple births and families with twins and triplets, some have been from the father’s perspectives, many have been from Mom’s just trying to make sense of it all. but overall, there have been many articles, blogs, statuses, tweets or whatever other forms you can imagine up. I have drawn on experiences from all my friends, family, and coworkers, listening and considering all voices as equals. I have benefited from advice from all of these wonderful people.
Now, I’m experiencing the joy of teenagedom from a new perspective and the excitement of small children from the “experienced” angle. I find myself analyzing each moment through new eyes and wanting to hold on to every thing. After all, it will be over faster than I can imagine.
If you feel compelled to join me in this experience, and maybe comment here and there, then…
Welcome to my Blog.
Mamabelle's Thoughts 